Love in the Time of Survival: The Enduring Power of Romance in Nigeria

In the words of one of the greatest musicians and cultural icons of our era, Rihanna, “We all need love.” Nations have been brought to their knees for it, and people have traded their entire lives for what they believed to be a semblance of it. “Was this the face that launched a thousand ships, And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?”—this famous line from Doctor Faustus, referencing Helen of Troy, reminds us of love’s ability to alter history on a grand scale. The Trojan War, as legend tells it, was ignited by a battle for her companionship, leading to one of the most infamous conflicts in ancient mythology.

Centuries later, love still had the power to shake empires. King Edward VIII of Britain gave up his throne to marry Wallis Simpson, an American divorcée. His love for her triggered a constitutional crisis, forcing him to abdicate and ultimately altering the course of British monarchy. His brother ascended as King George VI, paving the way for Queen Elizabeth II’s historic reign. A near re-enactment of this situation is even playing out at this moment in time.

But beyond monarchs and myth, love has led countless individuals to make unimaginable sacrifices, defying family expectations, crossing continents, and reshaping entire lives for the promise of connection. Using my friends and acquaintances as a sample size, I can probably say that the pursuit or preservation of romantic relationships plays just as significant a role in japa plans as financial security or career ambitions. What is it about love and romantic companionship that drives us to seemingly disregard our better judgment and self-interest in our quest to attain and sustain it? How did it become such a defining force in the human experience? We all come to the world on our own, don’t we? So why this deep, almost primal, longing for someone to walk through life beside us?

Love in a Time of Survival

Love has long been considered a fundamental part of human existence, but in Nigeria today, it is starting to feel like a luxury—something that requires both emotional and financial bandwidth, two things young Nigerians are running increasingly low on.

For many in past generations, love and marriage were seen as inevitable milestones, woven seamlessly into the fabric of life. But for young Nigerians today, romance often feels like a privilege rather than a given. The demands of survival—rising living costs, unemployment, and the pressure to japa—are shifting priorities. Conversations about love are now laced with discussions about financial security, relocation plans, and the weight of expectations.

Yet, for all these challenges, love refuses to be sidelined. Even in the face of economic hardship, social upheaval, and an uncertain future, love still commands space in our lives. From grand weddings to viral love stories, from long-distance relationships that stretch across continents to the quiet, everyday romances that bloom in the midst of struggle—love remains at the forefront of the Nigerian experience.

Love, in its many forms, continues to shape the decisions young Nigerians make. Some stay in relationships despite the odds, navigating long-distance love across time zones, battling visa restrictions, and enduring endless uncertainties. Others let go of relationships, not because the love isn’t strong enough, but because circumstances simply don’t align.

In a world where many feel like they are constantly in survival mode, the idea of love as an anchor is as powerful as ever. It provides something to hold on to in a landscape that often feels unstable. Even when financial realities make traditional expectations around marriage and family daunting, young Nigerians are redefining love on their own terms, through relationships that prioritize mutual support over societal validation, and through partnerships that transcend borders.

Love in the Nigerian Psyche

Beyond romantic love, the African and, specifically, the Nigerian context has always emphasized communal love. In many ways, love in Nigeria has never been just about two people, it extends to family, community, and even cultural expectations. Here, love is rarely just personal; it is often a collective experience. Marriage is not just about the couple but about families coming together, about social structures reinforcing shared values.

This is why, despite economic realities, love remains deeply ingrained in our collective psyche. Parents still urge their children to “bring someone home,” weddings remain major societal events, and even within our modern, fast-paced world, love stories continue to dominate music, film, and pop culture.

It is also why, despite shifting priorities, love in Nigeria still carries a weight that many cannot ignore. There’s still a deep-seated belief that life is best navigated with a partner, that struggles are easier when shared, and that success, no matter how self-made, is sweeter when there’s someone to celebrate with.

Love as a Force, Not a Luxury

The truth is, no matter how pragmatic we become, we are still wired for companionship. Love is what softens the weight of an often unrelenting society; it is what makes the pursuit of a better life feel worthwhile. Even when circumstances make it difficult, people still find ways to love by redefining commitment, adjusting expectations, and creating new expressions of partnership that fit within the shifting realities of our time.

Because, despite everything, love remains undefeated. It is not just a luxury, it is a force. A force that shapes decisions, rewrites destinies, and continues to thrive in the hearts of Nigerians, no matter the odds.

Eyesan Toritseju is a graduate of Civil Engineering from Covenant University turned serial entrepreneur and corporate strategist. Passionate about society and the cultural ideologies that shape us, he explores how these forces propel or inhibit progress through his writing. In his column, Cosmopolitan Nigeria, Eyesan examines how young Nigerians navigate the complexities of culture, religion, and identity in a rapidly evolving world.