The dangers of pornography (2)

I have received a good number of responses in respect of the column on pornography two weeks ago. This edition of the column ought to have come immediately after the one on pornography as a follow up but a compelling issue of men killing their wives in Nigeria became so big last week that I could not ignore it. So I took my time to do last week’s treatise on spousal murder. I therefore return to the issue of pornography this week. This is a truly disturbing phenomenon that is destroying young persons, destroying families and destroying communities. Now girls feel they have to look like porn actresses because they think this is what men/young boys want. By looking like a prostitute, a tart, they believe this is what will make them attractive. This has led young girls to deep seated self esteem issues. My eyelash is too short, I don’t have enough bosom endowment, I wish I could grow my hair longer, whiter, kinkier. They want to look like porn women because boys begin to watch porn very early and compare girls with these women who do it for the money.

My most interesting and rewarding response came from Funwakinmade: Tips for how to manage online content. Much needed, much appreciated. So here goes:

Good day Eugenia, great write up today on the menace of pornography! You have broached a very pertinent subject at this point in time.

As someone who works with teenagers and young people, I would estimate that porn is – in my humble opinion – the biggest menace facing our youth today. It’s bigger than drug usage, and sadly, its effects can easily be hidden for years, nay – even decades!

Truth be told, the age at which the devil is catching young ones is dropping: as you rightly said, even primary school students are now being indoctrinated! My work with younger ones indicates that it’s a problem for girls as well!

So, just by way of adding value to the discourse, I think parents really ought to get up to speed as regards the internet. Last time I handled a talk with parents on ”the internet… Your best friend yet your worst enemy”, it was quite an intriguing session! In summary, below was what I shared:

The Good sides of the internet 

1*information and knowledge e.g. Google search, wikipedia

2*guidance e.g GPS/Maps

The Bad sides

1*misinformation eg rumours

2*negative media e.g pornography

3*other bad stuff e.g. sexting

So while the ‘net’ can be your best friend, if you don’t manage it well, it can hurt you… your children especially!  Why is the devil doing all this? Prov 23: 7… For as he thinks in his heart, so is he {in behaviour….} The devil aims to try to control and dominate our minds

NOTE: please don’t remove the internet and TV from your homes… it is a wasted effort! It is far better to manage it, maximising the advantages while watching out for the risks and mitigating the dangers

Advice for parents: 5 rules

1. Install a filtering software on your computers at home: the “k9 software” is one of the best, and it is FREE.

2. Restrict the time your wards access the Internet: not more than 4 hours in a day, and not later than 9pm

3. No TVs and computers in children’s rooms, till they are at least 18 years old

4. Give them wifi only smartphones, to limit the risk of them going online

5. Make time to watch TV programmes and films with them

Advice for teens and young singles: 3 rules

1. Never post anything online that you don’t want the whole world to see! Especially on Snapchat! Many youths in the UK are in trouble today because of images they have on their social media pages. It has even affected people’s visa applications!

2. Never try to emulate what you see on Instagram and Facebook… They are all “photoshopped”

3. Be self accountable; don’t let yourself fall into bad habits even if other teens are doing so (porn and sexting) Remember Daniel 1:8

Thanks once more Eugenia…. Please keep up the great work!!

I wish to thank Funwakinmade for this contribution. Dear parents and teenagers keep your eyes open.

Eugenia Abu