It is difficult to inspire those who do not believe in themselves. As a life coach and motivational speaker, I am constantly inundated after an inspiring talk by people who have condemned themselves by themselves. In my long and successful career in the talk business, I have also met those who have allowed themselves to be condemned by others. More often than not, the naysayers are significant others: husbands, wives, sisters, friends, brothers, cousins, co-workers, family. Oftentimes you meet a creative whose father is perhaps a doctor or lawyer while they are comedians, writers or artists and no one even believes in them. Hurtful words like “you are just going to be useless to the society” begin to follow the children around. The kids begin to allow those words define them and self-esteem is eroded. It is from here that self-hate begins. Comparisons also begin to creep in. “See your sister, she studied medicine; you, you want to be the neighbourhood clown.” But those who have taken the bull by the horn, hard as it may be, and decided to trust their gut, believe in themselves and dared obstacles have bubbled to the very top and taken the world by storm. Ask Obama.
There are projects that I have been told are impossible, have never been done, will never be done. Where people see obstacles, I see opportunities. This does not mean that everything you believe in necessarily succeeds but eight over ten they do because one does not live one’s life defined by others, by negatives, by haters. And guess what, these people can be members of your family or even your friends.
The power of “believe” is often without friends but success after it has many friends. When you dreamt it, some of your best friends discouraged you. “How many school you wan go sef?” they ask, because you decided to take a masters degree to improve yourself and enhance your career. “Who dey chop cupcake for Abuja?”, because you are about to open a confectioners that you all discussed a year ago and you are just about to actualize it. Believing in yourself and being convinced in your actions after much research is a page turner in everyone’s life.
It is very empowering and gives you extra adrenaline. No matter where you find yourself, it is this self-belief that propels you to the apex of whatever you have chosen in life. It is what gives you confidence, not arrogance; it is what gives you self-esteem, not self-doubt; it is what makes you sure-footed. This belief in yourself can spurn those who are broken in different parts to attempt to break you, to recreate you and try to wear you robes that do not remotely define your person.
The power of “believe” is even more so when you strive to acquire knowledge and when you tend to delve in the deep, drink of the spiritual and not dwell on the surface. Confidence in yourself, knowledge and a spiritual side is a lethal combination. This often makes people with low self-esteem and those with very little knowledge uncomfortable in your presence, and trust me, it has nothing to do with anything you have done. There would be a new discussion on the way you walk after you passed that course everyone discouraged you from going for, meanwhile your stride has remained the same if not more awkward.
There will be tweets about how your accent has changed and no such thing has happened. With your lethal combination for success, you are expected to dress less fancy, tone down your regular make-up, wear loafers to work, not contribute to meetings, not wear beautiful hairstyles and apologize for who you are. With your being literally touching the ceiling from knowledge, those who can’t manage the sheer power of your “believe” will try to unnerve you. Your job is to add more knowledge, stay focused, keep moving and trust God.
For those who have been discouraged by those they thought loved them, climb the “believe” ladder one step at a time. Your destiny is calling you, your place is assured. Never let anyone tell you you can’t pass those exams; never let anyone tell you you can’t achieve; never let anyone tell you you can’t dream for to dream is to be alive. If you dream it, you can literally touch it. Walk tall, you are mightily and fearfully created, you are special. Let no one steal your thunder. My favourite quote is from an on-air personality whose father is a dentist. On why he did not follow his father’s footstep, he said he felt medicine might be too simple for him so he chose a complicated career. Hilarious as his answer may have been, that is the power of “believe”. In 2016, dream large, believe in yourself!
Eugenia Abu
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