I went to a boarding school run by white reverend sisters. It is difficult for me to describe my year in Queen of Apostles SecondarySchool Kaduna – the excitement, the morals, the education, the melting pot. My life, the entire span of how I conduct myself,aside from my parents’ impact, came from this school.
Most ex-students agree. An Ivy League school for girls in the North; an unbelievable school for Muslims and Christians run by missionaries! We were a community, each other’s keeper. I know the fathia by heart because the reverend sisters made us recite it every morning along with the Christian prayers. My senior Hajia Saude Mahdi made some of the best grades in bible studies in her set. I doubt that this kind of community still exists in our society, not to talk of our schools.
I had an excellent secondary school education with all its adventures and as a writer, I have enough experiences from there to write three engaging books. My column today is more about what goes on in schools these days and how a lot of parents are unaware. My parents had no reason to fear when I went to my school because there was transparency. We ate well, we had good teachers and our moral values plus discipline were very high.
In order to get parents more aware, let me share some information that is not meant to scare you but to make you more vigilant.
(a) A young boy was caught in a homosexual act in a boarding school recently. He was expelled but his parents said he was not involved in this before he went to the school. Boarding schools for boys need to be properly investigated before you send your son.
(b) One of my nieces had a lot of issues in her boarding school. She was being bullied by her classmates, not her seniors. It was a shock that 11-year-olds and 10-year-olds can be meaner than you think, making her miserable throughout her first and secondterm. The nature of bullying was almost like a witches den gang–up. It was bad.
(c) When my children were in primary school, some of the teachers of a school I withdrew them from spent the whole of the term requesting gifts and money from parents.
(d) Have you checked their school books? Do you make the time to see if your child is being promoted because of the gifts you gave the teacher who has given your son undeserved marks. It usually starts small. If you are not checking your child’s grades, then when they write an external exam, their true lack of knowledge comes to the fore by which time it is too late.
I visited a highflying school on their invitation to mentor young girls last year. After the plenary, I had a one-on-one with about 25 and received notes from another 25. Here are my findings
(i) A student was being sexually harassed by a teacher and was afraid because he had threatened her.
(ii) A student was being bullied for no reason by a teacher. Some schools have active anti-bullying laws and address bullying robustly; most schools ignore it, pretend it does not exist or simply gloss over it. Many children suffer psychological trauma which affects them for the rest of their lives because their parents did not believe them, neither did their principals.
(iii) I found that some kids were being presented by their brothers to their friends for sexual harassment, and in some instances presented to their fathers’ friends for ruination! These are students that are in SS1, SS2, JSS 3. It is scary!
(iv) I also found that parents were forcing children to live their (parents’) dreams. So a man is a doctor and his daughter is very artistic but the whole family wants her to be a doctor. I met many miserable girls whose parents have forced them to fill forms for courses they have no interest in whatsoever.
Finally, as a parent you need to keep a close tab on your children. A child being bullied tends to retreat into himself, becomesquiet. A child sometimes reacts to sexual harassment/sexual abuse by developing an eating disorder, bulimia, anorexia, et cetera. It’s important to be friends with your children and in cases where you can’t put your finger on it, interrogate more, check personal belongings. There are too many horrible things going on – poor medical facilities; a child dying in school from torture; bad food; psychological abuse; terrorism; fagging. Some are from fellow students, some are from teachers, some are from senior students, sometimes the principal.
In some private schools, your money is all they are after. This does not necessarily translate to care for the kids. In government schools, power is what drives the school administrators and education inspectors are not paying close attention. Our kids are treated like prisoners. Parents gather together, open your eyes. PTAs are not for loving the principal or trying to please her/him.Complain loudly. Rescue your children. A child is either built or damaged for life in a boarding school. This is a national war cry.
Eugenia Abu
Join BusinessDay whatsapp Channel, to stay up to date
Open In Whatsapp
