Is your pay cheque more than your partner’s own?

Most career women and business owners of today have top jobs and run series of business ventures that brings in good income. For women who are married and probably earn or make more money than their husbands, this could create some marital crises if not managed very well.

First, i want to make it clear to what i believe when a woman earns more than the husband, her attitude towards this.  As a woman who brings in the big bucks at the end of the month, you should not allow this get to your head and you forget that  the money is just what you use to run the house and it can stop flowing some day for one reason or the other.  I have seen several women who tries to turn to a man when it comes to this aspect simply because they are taking the huge financial responsibilities at home. They make more contribution to pay rent, school fees etc. There are also situation where some women’s husbands do not make any contribution at all. This is a case where the man suddenly lost his job or becomes sick and not being able to work.

There are two ways to this gist of today because i personally feel bad seeing women maltreat ordisrespect their partners just because they, the women are richer financially than the men. I have also taken time to get close to some of the women to find out why they behave the way they do.  Most men reading this will not agree with me if i tell them that such women disrespect their men due to the men’s attitude.  I also will not buy this because i believe no matter what, such women must somehow find a way to balance this difference between them.

Coming to the men who feel inferior or develop bad belly when a woman earns more than them. This is a wrong approach to getting  a woman in such position respect you.  I see absolutely nothing wrong in a woman earning more in the family and also using it to take care of everyone. What’s wrong about this?  I guess it also stems from the fact that a typical African man always want to rule and be incharge even when not capable. This leads to such men misbehaving and trying to bully when there is no reason to do so. The fact that your wife earns more than you should not be a biggie!  You should not feel inferior or try to over exert your position as the man of the house. The woman already knows you are the head of the family so when you now over do it thereby making her to feel that her efforts to care for the family with her money makes no sense to you, you have stired the bees nest. Such a woman will never take it in good faith.  That is when she will now query you and force you to understand that what she is doing is ‘’abnormal’’ and that  she is actually doing your responsibilities for you and still you are ungrateful.

There are women who also go overboard to show off despite the fact that the man is quiet about this and not disturbing. If you are such a woman, put a stop to this because, like i said earlier…it is no biggie spending your money on your family.

My main focus is to reach out to most African men who are married to such women. Most of you make such a situation turns into a case and crises in your family.  The African man always want to be incharge everywhere in the family so when you find yourself in such a financial mess where you can no longer provide for your family, try to appreciate what the woman is doing. Do not feel that your wife is now the man and becomes over bearing in your bossy attitude for no good reason just to prove to her that you are still alive. It is not necessary.  She has the right to complement you finacially when you are down so why make a fuss of it? This is what both of you signed before man and God when you got married.

Now human beings being what they are, if you are a man and find yourself in such a situation, do not use the money you get from your wife to be keeping other women. This is baaadaddddd!! If your wife discovers this….you are a gonner and she will treat you worse that a male servant. You see, this is one of such things that some men do that makes a woman who earns more turns into a mad dog, and always reminding you that you are not man enough.

If you are jobless, the best efforts you can show that you appreciate what your wife is doing is to go job hunting and not waste the little cash your wife gave you for upkeep to drink and party with young babes.  No woman will tolerate this.

Some men also are so lazy to work that when they get a woman who makes good money, will just relax and allows the woman to keep shouldering the family bills. When a woman discovers her husband is like this, she will not respect you and will kick you around. This is more where you see women who marry men younger than them. Honestly i can’t understand why a woman should marry a man younger than her in Africa knowing what our society looks like.  This hardly works out ..ever!  One, the pimp will be using your money to keep another home with the woman he really loves. Yes, i do not believe any Nigerian man who claims that he truely loves a woman who is older than him.  Cut the crap.. jerk!

You don’t!   All you care about is her damn money so i feel irritated when i see rich women messing around with pimps and even being so stupid to get married.

Going back to those who have what i call ‘’marriage’’  It will also make your situation easier if you can be assisting your wife in anyway you can doing certain things. This is something our men hate as if they will die instantly if you make breakfast for your wife. Help her do  shopping and other stuff you feel comfortable doing. You are not doing this because your woman forced you to but because, you love her and appreciates her efforts to run the family.  There are men who cook better than women so why not prepare meals when she can’t? Why should you? It is woman’s duty. Ok! Old school!  I can feel the pulse of our men. Let us continue this discussion on Twitter-@jacquiworld.

JACLYN IWU